Make your Teenager's Prom a Night to Remember

Prom season is quickly approaching, and it is a time that you and your teen have dreamed about for a very long time. As a parent, you can make your teenager's prom a very special night to remember.

In the spring your teen will be thinking of formal dances, graduations, graduation parties, and the prom. While it is a special time for your teenager, it is also a time filled with high expectations and significant peer pressure. It is a time that will test the moral fiber of your teen and give them the opportunity to make their own decisions, hopefully making wise choices along the way.

Proms are no longer held in high school gyms; today's proms have gone upscale. Many schools hold their proms at luxury hotels that have full banquet facilities and professional entertainment. Students arrive in limousines, dance the night away in rented tuxes and skin-tight dresses then leave for a weekend of unsupervised activities with friends -- often their first extended trip without parents. With the rising purchasing power of the youth culture, the prom is now an industry unto itself with its own magazines, films, clothing, accessories, and services.

While many adults trivialize the prom experience, most kids take the prom seriously. The prom is a space where kids work through their understanding of authority, social class, gender norms, and multicultural issues. Proms are often the sight of public and personal struggle. They are more than just pictures and puffed sleeves -- they are a mythic part of today抯 youth culture and, for better or worse, will always be a night to remember.

Your teen will be faced with a variety of choices ranging from how to spend within the budget you抳e set to whether or not they will be attending un-chaperoned parties. Your teen will make some of these decisions with you, but your teen will be confronted with many choices on prom night that he or she will have to make alone. You should discuss the situations with your teen before prom night and suggest the best ways to handle them.

The following are situations both you and your teen should consider together before prom night.

1. Will your teen be allowed to attend un-chaperoned parties? Your teen will probably view this as a matter of trust. Be prepared to defend your view!

2. Will they be allowed to drive to the prom alone as a couple or should they go in a group? Should they drive at all or take a limousine?

3. How much money should be spent on the night? And who will pay for what?

4. What will be the curfew for prom night? Are overnight stays allowed, and if so, will they be co-ed?

5. Will drinking be allowed? Discuss your stance on alcohol consumption with your teen. Be prepared to share your views with your teenager before prom night.

While your teen will face some issues alone, he or she will be better equipped to handle a variety of situations if you've discussed those situations together before the event.

1. Peer pressure to drink or take drugs on prom night. You teen should to decide ahead of time how they will handle the situation if they are approached to partake in these activities. It might be good to discuss this with your teen and maybe even role-play the possible situation. If you decide on your convictions a head of time, it's much easier to say no when confronted with temptation.

2. How much importance should be placed on prom night? If their expectations for the evening are too high, they might find the night a big disappointment. Encourage them to go into the event with limited expectations so that the evening will be enjoyable, even if it is not extraordinary.

3. Will they have sex? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes, on this night emotions run high, and it is best if they know how they feel about this issue before prom night arrives. If you haven't done so already, make sure you talk to your teen about their convictions about having sex before marriage. Explain to them that having sex before marriage puts them at risk for an unwanted pregnancy and STDs.

Prom night can be one of the most memorable events in your teenager's high school years. You can help keep those memories positive by helping your teen make concrete plans on how to handle a variety of situations that might come up. In the end, they will make their own choices that night, but if you've spent time discussing these issues with them beforehand, there is a much better chance that they will make wise choices on their own.